Are You There, or Just Scrolling? What Kids See When We’re On Our Phones
We all do it. Check a message mid-conversation. Scroll while stirring the pasta. Glance at work emails during playtime. And most of the time, we don’t even notice we’re doing it. But our kids do. And they learn from it.
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4/23/25
We say, “Put that down.” But we’re looking at ours. We ask for eye contact, but we’re texting back.
This isn’t to blame. It’s a reflection. A small window into what they might be seeing when they look at us.
Something to Consider
Kids don’t just listen to what we say. They watch what we do.
If phones are always in our hands—during meals, during play, during those in-between moments—we’re teaching something. Even if we don’t mean to.
Research Has a Name for This
They call it “technoference”—the way phones interrupt everyday connection. And it’s linked to more child frustration, whining, even behavioral issues.
Not because of one moment. But because of many.
A Few Ways to Shift the Vibe
Narrate your phone use: “I’m texting Dad. Then I’m done.”
Create phone baskets: “Let’s leave these here during dinner.”
Try one screen-free routine: bath time, bedtime, books?
Not forever. Just sometimes.
Turning Screens Into Shared Time
Watch a silly video together. Talk about it.
Try their favorite app with them (even if it’s weird).
Make a short video together and laugh at how awkward it is.
A Few Quiet Questions to Ask Yourself
Do I check my phone out of boredom—or habit?
What would it feel like to leave it in another room for an hour?
What do I hope they learn from the way I use my screen?
Not About Guilt. Just Awareness.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present enough to notice. That’s more than enough.
Bonus: Download the Mirror Moment Reflection Sheet A one-pager to gently check in on your own screen habits.
Sources:
Disclaimer: You’re already doing so much. This is just a mirror. Look if you want to. That’s all.
