A Place to Begin: Ask instead of lecturing

Instead of “Why are you always on that thing?” maybe:

• “What do you like about it?”

• “Do you ever wish you had more time off your phone?”

• “Is there something online you’ve seen lately that made you think?”

It’s not about setting rules right away. It’s about opening space.

What the Studies Show

• Some screen use helps teens stay connected, explore identity, and feel seen.

• But too much—especially if it’s passive—can wear them down emotionally.

• The tipping point isn’t always the hours. It’s what the screen is replacing: sleep, movement, real connection.

Making Agreements Together

Not top-down rules. Agreements. That everyone in the house tries.

Maybe phones sleep in the kitchen. Maybe one night a week is screen-free. Maybe you both try to delete an app for 3 days—just to see how it feels.

Ideas for Screen-Free Moments That Don’t Feel Like a Punishment

• Go outside. Even five minutes helps.

• Cook something together, even if it’s toast.

• Sit in the same room with a book. Quiet companionship counts.

It doesn’t have to be magic. Just real.

Seeing Their World Without Trying to Fix It

Try curiosity instead of fear:

• “Who’s your favorite person to follow?”

• “What’s something you wish didn’t exist online?”

• “Have you ever felt better after taking a break from it?”

When They Get It Right—Notice

• “You unplugged before bed tonight. That probably helped.”

• “I saw you put your phone down when your sibling talked to you. That was kind.”

Bonus:

Download our Family Screen Agreement Template It’s not a contract. Just a shared understanding you write together.

Sources:

• Pew Research: Teens and Social Media

• Common Sense Media: Teens & Tech 2023 Report

• JAMA Pediatrics: Screen Use and Mental Health Symptoms

Disclaimer: You know your teen better than any article ever could. These are not answers—just possible paths. Follow what feels true to you. Leave what doesn’t.